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Could we please all agree to stop using the words 'former' and 'latter' to mean the first or second thing you just said? e.g., I ate oranges and lemons, the former of which were sour. Yikes! Double yikes! Every time I see it, I always have to retrace my steps to find out which one was said first, and which one was mentioned second. It is one of the most awkward abominations in the English language. How about "I ate some oranges (which were sour) and then I had a couple lemons." Do what you have to do, but please stop! My heart can't take it!

It often surprises me when I hear people commenting on a friend or colleague who has "The Midas Touch." They mean it as a compliment. In fact, the car shop, Midas Muffler, is actually based on them having "The Midas Touch" apparently intimating that your car is in good hands. I can't help wonder if these people have ever read the story! The whole idea of King Midas is that his excessive greed and insatiable desires led to his downfall, as he destroyed anything he touched. Turning things to gold would be a great talent to have, no doubt, but only if you had the power to turn it on and off at will. Having your food, your wine...even your own daughter turn to gold is not an enviable trait...it's the kiss of death. Someone ought to let these people know.

Somewhere along the line, somebody got the hare-brained notion that the word 'foreign' is a derogatory term, though no one seems to know exactly why. One scholar I talked to asked "What about finding a foreign object in your soup? That can't be good!" Her connotation of the word skewed negative, and that was reason enough in her mind to ban the word entirely. Foreign exchange students became "international" students, Foreign languages were foreign no longer, and forget about foreign cuisine. It's ethnic. Ethnic? What is that supposed to mean? Everyone has ethnicity! This is just another once-practical word fallen by the wayside. 'Foreign' simply means 'from another place.' It is perfectly benign. It is only offensive for those who insist on assigning to it an unintended negativity.